Winning hearts with storytelling

When you think about storytelling and business, there is a question how you can combine these two areas. Let me tell you, the connection is just amazing and fascinating. It’s very, very, very strong and I have a great guest who can tell us more about how it works, what it is and why it is so important to have storytelling skills especially when you are a leader. My guest works in the area of leadership, communication and also storytelling. She is also a cross cultural trainer, facilitator, and coach and brings an amazing international experience into this conversation.

In this episode you will learn:

Why storytelling?
Why is storytelling so adequate in business?
What are the necessary elements of a story?
The Five S model for creating good stories
The most common myths about storytelling
Will artificial intelligence replace storytellers?
How one story can change a person’s life?

When you listen to this conversation, please think about any leader, HR, DEI expert that can benefit from it and share with this person later on. I really care to be reaching the right people with my content, so thank you very much for this in advance.

I wish you fun and discovery!

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If you need to educate leaders in how to create psychological safety in your remote teams, or if you would like to increase inclusive leadership practices, or resilience of your employees – please contact us at ETTA www.ettagoglobal.com.

Additional materials:

Why storytelling?

The name

First story: the story of my name. My name is Yingdan. That’s my given name. My surname is Liu. It’s a Chinese name. If I tell you the meaning of my name, probably you will remember my name better.

Ying is the character my dad gave me when I was born. It means: intelligent, smart in Chinese. And my mom also gave me a character, because they two are pretty equal. So each one of them gave me one character. So she gave me the character dan, it means a flower, a peony in Chinese. It’s very beautiful. It’s our national flower. Because she wanted her daughter to be beautiful in the future. So my name Yingdan actually means both intelligent and beautiful. That’s me.

The story

What I am doing right now is I focus on communication and leadership development. I’m a trainer, coach, and facilitator, and I have done this for the past thirteen years. Before that, I worked at a college as a teacher, and I also worked in an American company as a customer service representative. So I have over twenty years of working experience.

When I was coming to the middle of my career journey, at that time I was thinking, “Oh, should I start my own company? Should I pursue a career I really like?” At that moment, I met a person. His name is Craig Valentine. He is the World Champion of Public Speaking at Toastmasters International. He came to China, maybe in 2009, and delivered a keynote speech for over 500 people. I was one of the audience. I still remember one story he told on stage. He was talking about how he wanted to become a professional speaker, but his boss offered him a salary increase to keep him. So he was in a dilemma — what should he do? He went back home and discussed it with his wife, and his wife said: “Your dream is not for sale.” That was a very strong message.

That message struck a chord with me. I was sitting in the crowd of 500 people, and I thought: wow. That’s it. That was in 2009, almost fifteen years ago, and I still remember his message. His story inspired me, because I was in a similar dilemma at that time. One year later, I started my own training and coaching business, focusing on communication and leadership.

Storytelling is one key tool: both for a good communicator and for a good leader.

So that’s how I got involved in the field of storytelling.

Book about storytelling

My book is in Chinese. It was published in 2022. The literal translation of the title is: Winning Hearts Through Storytelling. The reason why I started to write this book is… I would like to share a short story here.

It dates back to February 2020, when COVID had just started. At that time, we were all locked down in our homes. I remember one night — my daughter had already gone to sleep, and I was sitting in the living room with the lights dimmed, watching the news on TV at very low volume because I didn’t want to wake her up. I was listening to the horrible news, feeling uncertain about the future, and I asked myself: what do I want to leave behind in this world?

And then, suddenly, an idea came to my mind: write a book! I had thought about it for years, but I never really put it into action. I always had excuses, I was busy with work, had lots of training to deliver, so I never started. But now, I had time. I was locked down at home every day. So I thought: why not start now?

That’s how and when I decided to write the book. The topic of storytelling just came to my mind naturally. This was an area I had been studying for several years. I had been training and coaching many professionals in storytelling. I had so many cases. So I thought: why not write a book about storytelling? I made up my mind in February, finished the book within a few months, talked to a publisher in China and finally, it was published in 2022.

Why is storytelling so adequate in business?

I totally understand the myth around storytelling in the business world, because I’ve met lots of people, especially engineers and others with technical backgrounds, who say things like, “We only talk about numbers, figures, logic. Why tell stories? Stories aren’t professional.” I’ve heard these kinds of statements before.

So I’d like to run a little test with you. Let’s imagine you’re at a large exhibition. There are some charity organizations there, and each one has a booth where they’re promoting their cause and asking for donations.

There are two different booths, and they’re doing two very different presentations. I’d like to invite you to see these both presentations and then answer: which booth are you more willing to donate to?

The first story

The first booth presents a slide with bullet points and some figures. Here’s what’s on the slide:

Food shortages in Malawi, which is a country in Africa, are affecting more than three million children.
In Zambia, several rainfall deficits have resulted in a 42% drop in maize production since 2000. An estimated three million Zambians are facing hunger.
Four million Angolans, 1/3 of the population, have been forced to flee their homes.
More than eleven million people in Ethiopia need immediate food assistance.

So please donate to help them!

The second story

In the second booth, the staff member is speaking to you, and there’s a picture of a young Black girl, seven years old.

Rakia is a seven-year-old girl who lives in Mali, in Africa. She is desperately poor and faces the threat of severe hunger, even starvation. Any money you donate will go directly to Rakia. Her life will be changed for the better as a result of your financial gift. With your support, and the support of other caring sponsors, Save the Children will work with Rakia’s family and other members of the community to help feed and educate her, and to provide her with basic medical care.

Please donate to help Rakia.

There are two different types of presentation. Which one are you more willing to donate?

We can see that the first type, with bullet points and figures, is very common in the professional arena. Many people deliver presentations like this. They’re trying to persuade their boss to approve a project, or persuade colleagues or clients to buy a product or service. We’re all using a similar type of presentation.

Little experiment about motivation

There was a research study conducted by Deborah Small. At the time, she was a professor at Wharton Business School. Together with two colleagues, she ran an experiment. They recruited students to join the study and told them: “If you fill in the survey, I’m going to give you money.” So everyone received $5 after completing the survey. But the survey itself wasn’t important. What mattered was what happened afterwards.

Each participant received an envelope. Inside the envelope was a letter and a $5 bill. When they opened the envelope, they read the letter. Half of the participants received a letter with facts and figures. The other half received a letter with a picture of Rakia and her story. The researchers then compared the results: who donated more?

On average, the group that read the fact-based letter donated $1.14. But the group that read Rakia’s story donated an average of $2.38 — twice as much.

This research shows us that if you want people to donate, you need to appeal to their hearts. Of course, this is a study about donations. But in reality, it’s about persuasion.

Persuasion happens in many different professional situations.

About persuation

For example, in a job interview, you want to persuade the HR person to hire you. When writing a report to your boss, maybe you want to persuade them to approve resources for your project. When talking to clients or potential clients, you want to persuade them to choose your product or service.

So it’s all about persuasion.

If we want to truly persuade people, we should tell stories.

What are the necessary elements of a story?

A good story should be both logical and emotional. Some people have doubts about the emotional part. Do we really need to be that emotional? Of course, you don’t need to reach the emotional intensity of a movie.

However, people make decisions not only based on logic, but often even more because of emotion.

This is backed up by neuroscience research by Paul Zak. He conducted many studies in this field, and his research showed that when people listen to stories, their brains release oxytocin. Oxytocin makes people feel more trust, more compassion, and makes them more willing to collaborate and be generous.

So if we want to persuade people to collaborate with us, we should tell stories — and it will be much easier to achieve our goal. That’s why I believe a good story should be both logical and emotional.

How to achieve that?

I might start with how to create a clear structure first, and then we’ll talk about how to build an emotional connection with your audience.

When it comes to structure, one reason people don’t tell good stories is because they include too much detail and that can bore the audience. Or they haven’t identified the main theme of their story. So there’s a lot happening here and there, but no clear focus. That’s another common issue.

If you use a clear structure to organize your story, you can cut out all the unnecessary parts. You only highlight what’s most important, which makes it easier for your audience to absorb the message. That’s why having a clear structure is so important. I came up with the Five S structure. My model is especially useful for business people and professionals, because we don’t need to tell very long stories like in movies or dramas — maybe just three minutes.

The Five S model

Start – You need to tell your audience how your story begins. For example: “Dating back to when…” If you’re sharing a successful case, you might say “This is the client who approached me in [year].” It’s a very quick introduction to your story: when and where it happened, and what you were doing at the time.

Struggle – What really captures people’s attention is conflict, because it creates tension. So, while you were doing your thing, what difficulty did you encounter? This is where your audience starts to put themselves in your shoes and wonder, “How would I solve that?”

Conflict creates tension, and that tension is key.

Solve – How did you solve the problem? This part shows your mindset shift, the actions you took, or the creativity you used. It gives people inspiration. They start to believe that they could solve a similar problem or that they can trust you to help them solve theirs. This is especially important if you’re selling your own service.

Result – Okay, this one doesn’t start with an “S,” but it has one in the middle! The result is where you share measurable outcomes: figures, if possible, to show how effective your solution was. These act like testimonials. You don’t need to overwhelm your audience with numbers, just pick the most impactful one. That’s enough to impress them.

Standpoint – This is the key message of your story. What do you want your audience to walk away with? If it’s an inspirational story, you might include a message like Craig Valentine’s: “Your dream is not for sale.” If you’re sharing a success story with a potential client, you want to give them confidence in you. You can even borrow a sentence from a past client’s compliment to use as your final standpoint. That’s how you choose a message that persuades your audience.

Storytelling is a skill

Many people say: “storytelling is gift. It’s like a talent. You’re born with that talent”. No. It is a skill which can be learned.

That’s why I want to share with you a story about a CEO I coached.

That was a Chinese CEO in educational organization. He had about 300 employees at that time. He came to me and he wanted me to coach him for his upcoming speech in his corporate annual town hall meeting so all his employees would attend that meeting. The previous year, his speech was a disaster. He wrote a speech and he was too nervous on the stage and he forgot his line. Also he had a long pause and his employees waited and then applauded him to give him encouragement. And he felt so embarrassed and frustrated because his original intention was to inspire his employees. While in the end ironically he received encouragement from his employees. That’s why he approached me – he didn’t want to repeat his disaster.

Solution – storytelling!

I suggested him touse storytelling because you don’t need to remember your lines as long as you know your story. So, after discussion he came up with three stories: one about his client, one story about his employee, and one story about his vision for next year. After that I asked him to rehearse many times in front of me, gave him feedback until he felt confident and fluent on the stage.

That night, after he completed his speech in his annual conference meeting, he texted me with excitement. He said: wow, my speech was a great success. He got standing ovation from his employees. From then on, he embraced public speaking, because he totally enjoyed telling story to others. He took more public speaking opportunities to represent his company, to speak on industrial conferences and more events.

And he even wrote a long testimonial for me because he wanted to encourage more business leaders to tell stories. Just like the same message to all your audience who are listening to this podcast.

Embrace storytelling in your business scenario.

Misunderstandings around storytelling

I think the first common belief is: “I don’t have any stories to tell. My life is so normal.”

I used to think the same way before I started learning storytelling. Then I thought: “I’m just an average person, I haven’t experienced anything major, I’m not particularly successful. And I haven’t faced any life-threatening situations or serious illness. So I don’t have any stories to tell.” But after I learned about storytelling, and after I actually tried using it in my own life, I realized something important: as long as an experience feels meaningful to you, it can be shaped into a good story.

My story remembered for years

For example, I joined Toastmasters in 2004. I started competing in 2013, and I won the China Championship in the Toastmasters Public Speaking Contest in 2014. At the time, I told a story about a conflict between me and my mother-in-law. In Asian culture that’s a very common kind of conflict. I think it’s a universal area of tension.

It wasn’t some major event. It was simply a family conflict — between a wife and her mother-in-law. I talked about how my mother-in-law was a perfectionist. She was always picking on me, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t meet her standards. I started to complain about it, and eventually the tension between me and my mother-in-law also affected my relationship with my husband. At that point, I realized that I had to change. One day, something happened. My mother-in-law had a severe cold. She was coughing a lot and felt very weak, but she still wanted to cut her toenails. She was sitting on the sofa and just couldn’t manage to do it herself. In that moment, I said, “Okay, let me help you.” I knelt down, took the nail clipper, and cut her toenails for her. That small act completely changed our relationship. She suddenly became much kinder to me and totally accepted me. I felt love between us for the first time. After that, she still gave me suggestions, but they weren’t criticisms anymore. It was more like the “sandwich style”: she would give me a compliment first, then a suggestion, then encouragement.

I shared that story in my speech contest in 2014, and the message was: the power of change is love. Because we always want to change others, but actually, the true power of change is love. I still remember delivering that speech in 2014, and even in 2023, people were still coming up to me saying, “Oh, Yindang, I heard your story about your mother-in-law — can you share the video link with me?” Some would say, “My friend is going through something similar, and I want to forward your speech to them.”

It’s interesting — just one story I told, almost ten years ago, and people still remember it.

In a way, a story is just a story. But the real key to a powerful story is the meaning you make of it.

Discover yourself through storytelling

This brings me to another point.

I think storytelling is not only good for persuading others — it also helps you discover yourself.

Sometimes things happen to us, and we don’t sit down to reflect on what meaning we take from the incident or experience, or what kind of growth came from it.

I mentioned before that everyone has some story elements to tell. You already have good elements — you just need to use storytelling skills to craft your story. But the discussion also made me think about something else: self-discovery. A story is not only about persuading others, because we also need to internalize what has happened to us. When you connect the dots, you can discover your true self, like what you’re really passionate about, what your strengths are, what your values are. And when you’re clear about the meaning of a story to yourself, then you’ll be able to tell it to others. So self-discovery is also a very important part of the process. Even though this isn’t exactly a misunderstanding, I think it’s something many people simply aren’t aware of yet.

Advice through stories

I remember a colleague I had when I was a junior consultant in a large company. I think he was about thirty years older than me. He rarely offered advice, but he frequently shared stories. In the beginning, I was a bit puzzled. I wondered, “What does he mean?” But then I understood that by sharing a story, he wasn’t just giving me advice. He was offering the most precious gift: opening up, showing that he cared about our relationship, and allowing me to find my own solution based on his experience. I was so impressed. In fact, his example helped me feel worthy of sharing my own stories with others.

Nowadays, that I’m older than some of the people I work with, I sometimes think: aren’t stories the core of mentorship? The core of building relationships? The core of learning from others?

We often say that 20% of learning is social learning — learning from other people. But how much of that happens through stories? Through real experiences someone chooses to share with us? And the stories we tell about ourselves… these are powerful too.

So many people today are struggling with mental health challenges. And the question is: what is the story you’re telling about yourself? Are you a victim of depression? Or are you a winner — because you’re still able to function day by day? That’s a very important narrative.

I like this summary. I would also like to share one sentence here that I always share with my audience:

The words you speak to yourself determine the kind of a person you become, and the words you speak to others determine the kind of people you attract.

Storytelling in China vs. USA

I would say that stories are important and well received both in the U.S. and in China. This is a universal thing — a universal tool. However, the key messages or the standpoints you want to convey through your stories can differ depending on the culture of your audience. For example, in the U.S., if you watch American movies, they often focus on a hero — it’s more individualistic. One hero saves the world. In China, and in more Asian cultures in general, the focus is more on collectivism. Stories are often about someone sacrificing for the well-being of the group, or about a group achieving success together.

So, when you’re telling stories across cultures, you need to be aware of the cultural background of your audience.

You might choose different standpoints to convey, depending on that. This is the cross-cultural element of storytelling.

Also, when telling stories, especially if you’re sharing something personal — like a story about growing up in China — and you mention the names of cities, people in the U.S. might not understand the context. In that case, you need to help your target audience relate to the story. You can use a metaphor, or explain distances using places they are familiar with. For example, instead of saying how far it is from City A to City B in China, you might compare it to the distance between two well-known cities in their country.

This is something we need to be aware of when talking about the context or the setting of a story: always make sure your audience can understand and relate.

Universal stories

I’ve also experienced stories and storytelling as a powerful tool for connecting across cultures. Because, despite some cultural differences, there are common themes we all face — like the relationship with a mother-in-law, or the many challenges that life throws at us. And when you realize that people from another country, maybe even another continent, face the same kinds of struggles, and that they have a story to share and want to share it with you, it becomes a truly powerful way to build bridges between cultures. It’s much more effective than statistics or economic arguments when it comes to creating real connection.

When I was young, I read a lot of Andersen’s fairy tales and also the Brothers Grimm. These were stories from Europe, but they became popular all over the world — like Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood, and The Ugly Duckling. These stories are universal. They connect people from different cultures and backgrounds. That’s the power of storytelling — it’s a timeless, global tool for connection.

Will AI impact stories?

I would say that artificial intelligence will actually enhance the importance of storytelling.

I’m not sure if you’ve read the news about Sora — it’s a new tool from OpenAI. You simply write a story, and it creates a video for you. It hasn’t been officially launched yet — it’s still in the beta version — but it’s already a wonderful tool. In the future, as long as you can design a story, technology won’t be a barrier, because it will be accessible to everyone.

That’s why your idea is more important than the technology itself. You can just use something like Sora, and it will help you create a video — but if you don’t have the capability to design a compelling story, then you won’t be able to truly use that technology to enhance your career or message.

Also, with the growing popularity of short videos, which are now a trend across different countries and platforms, personal branding is becoming more important than ever. If you’re able to tell your story well, you can gain followers, build influence, and maybe even become a KOL (Key Opinion Leader). And this applies not only to individuals, but also to corporate branding.

Companies need storytelling to connect with audiences and stand out.

That’s why I believe future technologies will not replace storytelling — they will amplify it. The ability to tell a meaningful, engaging story will be even more essential.

But first…

You need to be aware of what kind of story you want to tell. What does this story mean to you in your own life? How can it be impactful to others?

We can’t expect artificial intelligence to do this part for us, because AI doesn’t know you. It can’t define the essence of your experience. You need to provide the core elements. What AI can help with is crafting the language and that can be very useful.

For example, if you want to build a stronger emotional connection with your audience, you could send your draft story to a tool like ChatGPT and say, “I want to increase the emotional impact. Can you help me revise the language?” That might help. This ties back to something we mentioned earlier. We talked about having a clear structure, but I forgot to talk about emotional connection.

To build emotional connection, you can add feeling words to your story. You can describe the scene in more detail. What you were experiencing at the time? What did you see? And what did you hear? How did you feel? When you include these elements, your audience is more likely to step into your shoes and truly experience your story as if it was their own.

So yes, you can absolutely use ChatGPT to help revise your script. But you need to come up with the essence. You decide what values you want to convey, and which elements of the story are important. That part still belongs to you.

Key message

I would like to encourage everyone who is listening to this podcast: just start telling stories. You don’t need to be perfect right away. Once you come up with your story, try telling it. Then revise it, adjust it, improve it — until you feel truly confident about it. Good stories need polishing.

So my advice is: simply begin. Use the Five S structure, and you’ll start to build your own story database. Over time, you’ll become more observant, more aware of meaningful things happening around you that could become part of a story.

Stories for personal use

Today, the examples I shared were all from the business world. But for me personally, I also use storytelling with my daughter.

I tell my daughter stories based on her own experiences, designing them to highlight her strengths and to teach her values. At bedtime, she often says, “Mom, tell me a story about myself when I was younger.” She’s six years old now, and I tell her stories from when she was two or four. She gets so excited hearing stories about herself, because they remind her of her strengths. Whenever I observe something in her, a moment of growth or a unique strength, I try to turn that experience into a story and share it with her at bedtime. One of her favorite stories is one I call the Ice Cream Story, from when she was two years old.

Back then, she really wanted to eat some ice cream, but she was too little to reach the refrigerator door — she couldn’t open it by herself. So she came to me and said, “Mom, I want to eat ice cream. Can you get it for me?” And I said, “Darling, use your creativity — see if you can solve the problem by yourself.” She looked around the house, and then she found her little stool. She brought it over, placed it in front of the refrigerator, stepped on it, and opened the fridge door all by herself. This moment, she got the ice cream by herself for the first time.

Later that night, I told her the story at bedtime and said, “Wow, darling, you are a person with creativity — you solved your own problem!” I added that key message at the end so she would remember: “I’m a creative girl. I can solve my own problems.” That became a value she learned through her own experience.

I have different stories like that: the Ice Cream Story, the Fear Story, the Falling Down Story. Whenever she has a meaningful experience, I turn it into a story.

So the final takeaway for your audience is: start telling stories. And then you’ll begin to see and feel the power of storytelling through your own life.

Final story

When my son was born, my business was already in full speed, And it was really a challenge to manage it altogether. We moved flats. My son went to the kindergarden. And I took my minutes of peace and quiet by taking a little bit longer route from the kindergarden to my office. I cherish this time not only by watching the beautiful nature on the way, but also by listening to podcasts. I enjoyed it so much to get the wisdom and stories from other people who might have been running a small business like me or facing other challenges they had. At that time, I didn’t even imagine I would ever do something like this myself. But a few years later, I realized that there is so much to share and that I might want to run a podcast myself.

What was next?

But the decision wasn’t simple at all. What I didn’t want above all was to create a few episodes and then stop. I took all my conscience to think how to make it sustainable. I also was considering which language I should decide on. Shall I run the podcast in English? As many of my clients are solely or mostly English speaking. Or maybe in Polish, the other large group of my clients are Polish speakers. And this consideration took me two years.

I reached a turning point when I promised to myself to never put pressure on me creating a podcast. Just to do it for pleasure, fun, and purpose. And that’s what I’m doing. Five years later, I am reaching my one hundredth episode in Polish, and the number of my episodes in English is growing with the number of downloads exceeding tens of thousands. And I’m still enjoying what I’m doing. Above all, I’m creating value for other people that might learn from the stories that we share. Plus, they’re with my personal pleasure of meeting amazing guests, just like Yingdan Liu.

Well, this was an attempt of creating a little story on the go. I hope you liked it.

Thank you!

Photo by Melanie Deziel on Unsplash

Winning hearts with storytelling - ASA 016